The Water is Rising

Because I don't believe in any major world religion, I basically reject the idea of an "end of the world" event. Not that humanity is going to live on forever or anything...I predict we'll basically die off a lot sooner than we think. Probably some sort of massive plague or virus, but as we've seen this week, it doesn't really take nature a whole lot of effort to knock large portions of us off.

No, I don't think we've inherited the Earth for all time or anything. I just think the world won't end in some Biblical maelstrom of death, during which the seas will boil and the skies fall and the moon becomes as red as blood. (I don't know if that's really what's in Revelations...It's the description of the End of the World in Ghostbusters).

But here's something I'm struck by this week, as we all stop to ponder the horror Hurricane Katrina has brought down on the Gulf Coast. I don't believe that Hurricane Katrina has any religious or spiritual significance - it's just one of those things, a natural disaster for which New Orleans and Mississippi were apparently unprepared.

But if you're Born Again, if you literally believe that the End of the World is coming any day, Katrina might not look like just another one of those things...In a year in which we also saw an immense and horrific tsunami hit Asia, in a year during which a war in the Holy Land pits Western troops versus Eastern guerillas, in a year during which gay people are actually trying to get married, George Bush might look out the window expecting to see The Rapture at any minute.

Cause, let's face it, if there WAS going to be an End of the World, it might look something like this:



"The Water is Rising Pleas"...that kind of says it all, doesn't it. I'll totally level with you all. Even though I'm sure you all think of me as a really macho individual, I actually started to well up when I saw this picture. I know anything's possible, that Mother Nature can just ruin everything that humans create, but to see a photo like that taken right here in America, featuring my fellow Americans...It's a hard reality to face, that we are no more safe from this sort of tragedy than anyone else.

Or check out this photo:



That's outside the New Orleans Convention Center. People have gathered here to wait for transportation out of the city (that isn't coming). This man apparently died while waiting in line, and now another man (holding a baby) is gesturing at his corpse for a camera.

That is SUCH an End of the World kind of picture. Seriously, if you asked me, "what will the subjects be of the last photos ever taken?" I would respond "either Arnold Schwartzenegger being crowned King of Planet Earth or a guy, cradling an infant, pointing to a dead guy."

Final image of End Times-style Katrina damage:



That's an entire NO neighborhood, under water. What if everything you owned, and possibly several family members, were suddenly submerged in stagnant, corpse-and-bacteria-laden flood waters? It would probably feel like the End of the World, even if you had some rational perspective on the matter.

So how does a guy like our President, a Born Again Christian lacking any sort of rational perspective, view this event?



"Oh, man, I hope Jesus can find me on this plane. Thank God it has got Air Force One written on it, so he at least knows which plane to immediately escort up to Heaven before unleashing his remaining wrath on the world. Hey, is that a Wal-Mart down there? Maybe I ought to stop off and loot me some new brush-clearin' gloves. Probably gonna need those..."

Okay, so maybe he wasn't saying that. This was, according to the Associated Press, what his actual spoken reaction was:

"It's devastating. It's got to be doubly devastating on the ground."

The people on the ground probably were more than 2x as devastated as Georgie on the plane, I'd wager. It might even be triply devastating on the ground! But, whatever, he's not well-spoken. We know.

Over at HuffPo, Arianna Huffington uses this concept as a metaphor for George Bush's entire presidency - just as he flies over and inspects Louisiana and Mississippi without getting off his plane, so has he been disengaged from the realities of American life since he entered the White House all those years ago.

Even though I'm always waiting for another opportunity to slam our idiot president, I don't really know what else he really could have done except fly over in a plane. Does Arianna want him on the ground lifting sandbags or something? Maybe holding infants, gesturing to dead guys in lawn chairs? Isn't it more important that he be in Washington making decisions about how best to help these unfortunates, rather than wading into the hip-deep waters of Downtown New Orleans to, you know, get a super-up-close look at the destruction?

I do think it's worth considering how his aberrant and insane worldview affects his leadership during a crisis of this magnitude. I want a cooly rational bunch of men and women, a smart, sophisticated and intelligent group to make these decisions, not this clusterfuck of fools we've elected because they love fetuses and hate gay people as much as we do.



"Hey, Rummy, you heard anything from God about this Rapture thing yet? I'm startin' to get a little nervous. I mean, we've started the East vs. West war, there's all these floods and tidal waves, they got that SuperAIDS now instead o' just regular old AIDS, Paris Hilton is the most famous and beloved individual on Earth...What more can I do? Is it time to kickstart Operation Ship All the Jews to Jerusalem or what?"



Come on, everyone, sing along with George!

God said to Noah
There's gonna be a floody floody
Rain came down
It started to get muddy muddy

That's quite possibly my favorite all-time photo of our President. First, I love that he's playing a Presidential guitar! (Check out that seal below his arm!) Second, I love that guy behind him. Can you imagine being the Presidential Roadie? Is that a real job? You just hang out smoking doobs in the White House backyard all day, until the rare occasion when the Prez or the Veep gets a gig, and then you haul all their equipment out there and rugby-tackle anyone who tries to rush the stage. Awesome!

Plus, that woman to the far left is WAY too delighted to be there. WAY too delighted.