It Runs in the Family

How many members of George Bush's immediate family have had run-ins with the law because of drug and alcohol-related crimes? A lot. Probably more than in your immediate family, unless your home state happens to border the Ozark Mountains. Obviously, there's George himself, who did so much cocaine during his younger years, he still has post-nasal drip.

Then there's daughters Jenna and Barbara, who have been known to drink underage, and then laugh about it on national television during a political convention, before turning to their more reliable and classier "grandmother sex jokes" material.

And now, we can add George's nephew John Ellis Bush, son of Florida governor Jeb, who at the tender age of 21 was taken into custody for resisting arrest and being punk in drublic. I mean, drunk in public.

John Ellis Bush, 21, was arrested by agents of the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission at 2:30 a.m. on a corner of Austin's Sixth Street bar district, said commission spokesman Roger Wade.

The nephew of President Bush was released on $2,500 bond for the resisting arrest charge, and on a personal recognizance bond for the public intoxication charge, officials said.

Wade said he had no further details about the charges.

The Bushes as a family seem to have a pretty substantial problem with drug and alcohol addiction. Maybe we should stop electing them to run major swatches of our country...

Gov. Bush and his wife Columba appeared Friday evening at a museum reception in Miami.
"My son's doing fine. It's a private matter. We will support him. We're sad for him. But I'm not going to discuss it on the public square with 30 cameras," the governor told reporters.

No, no, of course not. Because we all know that private, family matters should be kept within a family, and not made into a public spectacle. Like, say, if a member of Jeb Bush's family were dying, and he wanted the right to end their suffering, but a lot of blowhards thought she should be kept artificially alive for all eternity, despite her being braindead, reporters should just keep their nose out of it and let Jeb handle his personal business...

Oh, wait...

And, really, this story is like two addicted Bushes for the price of one, because I don't even remember hearing about this juicy tidbit!

Noelle Bush, the governor's daughter, was arrested in January 2002 and accused of trying to pass a fraudulent prescription at a pharmacy to obtain the anti-anxiety drug Xanax. She completed a drug rehabilitation program in August 2003 and a judge dismissed the drug charges against her.

Isn't it amazing and wonderful how things always seem to work out for the Bushes? They do the drugs and commit the crimes, but then they agree to do better next time and the road just opens up ahead of them.

They're all like Dorothy in the Land of Oz - they ignore storm warnings, wreck the fuck out of their trailer and kill some poor old lady, and then just prance away down a golden road wearing ruby slippers, meeting stupid and cowardly new friends and collapsing in fields full of hallucinogenic, morphine-like poppy flowers.