Cause he's vi-si-ting the Danger Zone
Stopping by the Danger Zone
(Where's the) Highway out of...THE DANGER ZONE!
Aw, isn't that nice? George dropped by to tell the Coast Guard he's, like, totally super proud of the great job they sort of did over the last couple of days and...
Wait a minute. What are all these helicopters and Coast Guard guys doing hanging out in a hangar with George? Shouldn't they be, oh, I don't know...rescuing the 100,000 people trapped in that Louisiana pit of Hell? Guys, suit up! Let's get a move on! The Chimp-in-Chief can wait a few minutes while you save the lives of a few babies, you know?
I mean, I'm all for cheesy, feel-good photo ops in which politicians opportunistically use recent tragedies and the sacrifices of brave Americans on the front lines for cheap publicity, but...Actually, I take that back. I'm against cheesy feel-good photo ops in which politicians opportunistically use recent tragedies and the sacrifices of brave Americans on the front lines for cheap publicity. But it's especially wrong when they do it while the tragedy is still going on.
This would be like Bush presenting a plaque to a New York Fire Station before the second tower came down. Like having a bullshit 20 minute meeting where he blows off Cindy Sheehan before her son dies in combat. Like appearing after the Iraq War has barely begun on a carrier in a flight suit in front of a big banner that reads "Mission Accomplished." Oh, wait...
It's a good thing he's not running for president again any time soon, or we'd be treated to inspiring montages of this visit to the Coast Guard along with lilting Kenny Loggins music at the next Republican Convention.
"The way the Prez-o-dent stood up on that helicopter pad and told Hurricane Katrina to kiss his ass, well, it was very inspiring for me. It made it not so bad that my entire family what drowned in toxic water before my eyes following the breach of a levee scheduled for repair in 2003, the funds for which were diverted to a war on terrists what live in Iraq."
"I love George Bush. He gave me a handshake and humored me for a few minutes before getting back on his plane and slashing my retirement benefits by 25%."
Cut to a shot of George playing catch with some Coast Guard guys, all smiles.
"I'm George Bush, and I approve this reflected glory...I mean, message."
[UPDATE: The White House website actually has the text of the entire "thank you Coast Guard" speech. Check this part out - helpfully flagged by Atrios. It's stunning, really stunning:
We've got a lot of rebuilding to do. First, we're going to save lives and stabilize the situation. And then we're going to help these communities rebuild. The good news is -- and it's hard for some to see it now -- that out of this chaos is going to come a fantastic Gulf Coast, like it was before. Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house -- he's lost his entire house -- there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch. (Laughter.)
You see, folks, don't be upset...Trent Lott's new house is going to be fucking sweet. A deck, an indoor grill, and at least 2 plasma screens up in that bitch, I'm guessing. You'll see it all on the 2007 Fall Premiere of MTV's "Cribs."
Our president is a sociopath, that's it. He's utterly incapable of sympathizing with another human being for five minutes. Americans aren't upset because guys like Trent Lott will have to live in one of their other five homes while the Gulf Coast is rebuilt. They are upset because people are dying right now in the streets of New Orleans, amidst rivers made up of their own feces and the rotting corpses of their friends and neighbors, you fucking goon!
I also like this little bit here:
Now, I also want to say something about the compassion of the people of Alabama and Mississippi and Louisiana and surrounding states. I want to thank you for your compassion. Now is the time to love a neighbor like you'd like to be loved yourselves.
He's eloquent, he is. I don't think my neighbors want me to "love them" as I'd like to be loved myself. In fact, I would likely be arrested if I tried. These people are Catholic!]
What are all these helicopters and Coast Guard guys doing hanging out in a hangar with George?
ReplyDeleteIf you had watched close enough on TV you shoulda seen some maintenance being done on the helicopters. Perhaps you should know helicopters need to be maintained, looked over, looked at very closely because they're not guaranteed to fly 90,000,000 miles without needing basic maintenance. All helicopters do. All aircraft needs maintenance. They don't take them into some mechanic's garage like you might with your car and then go back when it's done. No, they have their own mechanics to work on the aircraft themselves. And P.S. that was in Mississippi or Alabama. Not the same dudes working in New Orleans and there weren't the rooftop rescues in Mississippi or Alabama to occupy all their time in those two states. Two different situations for two different Coast Guard stations. They only work in their own areas even in this disaster. Gotta have working helicopters onhand at all times in case of other emergency in their own zone. Got it? Good :)
And by the fucking way, you're wrong about W. being a sociopath unable to symathize with other human beings for more than 5 minutes. Seriously, dude, where the fuck did you get that impression of him? You couldn't be more damn wrong.
Bush ain't to blame for people dying in the streets in New Orleans. The city and the state FAILED in having a proper plan together. Okay, even if they did have one this disaster is bigger than anyone expected. Still, the city and state are to blame for what's gone wrong. Idiot LA governor musta been sitting on her ass for a couple days before getting troops in from outside her state. Bush just can't send them in without first being asked. And getting them in doesn't just happen overnight on a large scale and no it ain't 'cause many are in Iraq. We have enough around this country to take care of New Orleans... but they aren't sitting around waiting all ready to go at a moments notice. They gotta assemble and pack and go and when they get to an area do they know their way around? Hmm, do you know your way around Madison, Wisconsin or Bangor, Maine? They gotta coordinate with people on the ground when they get there so they can be lead to the right places. And with lack of good working radios things weren't going so smoothly. So you see, bub, it ain't as easy as calling for a pizza. There was no plan by the black democrat mayor to pre-evacuate citizens nor was there a plan by the city or the state to take care of people in the event of a flooded city. Bush's fault? No. If anyone else is to blame it's the head of FEMA who musta been twiddling his thumbs for a day or two, also. Lack of planning killed people and Bush had no part in that nor did he have any part in delaying aid efforts or in not speeding them up enough. People below him to the Mayor of N.O. shoulda been gettin' on the horse but they stumbled.
Sinjin, you make your points eloquently (if a bit on the hostile side), but your arguments make little sense:
ReplyDelete"Perhaps you should know helicopters need to be maintained, looked over, looked at very closely because they're not guaranteed to fly 90,000,000 miles without needing basic maintenance."
These photos were taken TODAY. The Hurricane hit on TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY. That's a shitload of maintenance. You're right, it was in Alabama, but so the fuck what? NO is next door (and there were plenty of needy people in Alabama at the time who were more important than a GWB photo op).
You don't even respond to the pertinant question, which is why they had to pose behind the president rather than going to help people. And if you think the president is above setting up a photo opportunity at inappropriate times, well, you haven't been paying very close attention for the past 5 years.
As for my contention about W being a sociopath, I'm no psychiatrist, but I back it up with observation. You back up your contention that he's kind and compassionate...but cursing and calling me "bub," condescendingly.
Your arguments that the mayor of NO and the state government should have done more is totally 100% valid. I concur. But what's with this sentence:
"There was no plan by the black democrat mayor to pre-evacuate citizens nor was there a plan by the city or the state to take care of people in the event of a flooded city."
What the fuck does his blackness or Democrat-ness have to do with anything?
Again, I would say Bush is our leader, Bush has diverted monies needed for levee repair to Iraq, Bush has diverted 40% of the LA National Guard to Iraq, Bush has failed to veto any of the costly pork his cronies in Congress have pushed through over this last 5 years, and what we are seeing in NO is a direct result.
If you have a genuine counter-argument to that statement, rather than childish name-calling and subtle racist digs at the mayor of NO, please feel free to comment.
And don't call me "bub."
And, oh yeah, one more thing. It's all the mayor and state goverment's responsibility to handle a crisis of this magnitude, you say...Well, this is from the Federal Department of Homeland Security Webpage:
ReplyDeleteIn the event of a terrorist attack, natural disaster or other large-scale emergency, the Department of Homeland Security will assume primary responsibility on March 1st for ensuring that emergency response professionals are prepared for any situation. This will entail providing a coordinated, comprehensive federal response to any large-scale crisis and mounting a swift and effective recovery effort. The new Department will also prioritize the important issue of citizen preparedness. Educating America's families on how best to prepare their homes for a disaster and tips for citizens on how to respond in a crisis will be given special attention at DHS.