Hot for Goddess

I tend to think all religions are ridiculous, but it occurs to me that I reserve blog mockery almost exclusively for Judaism, the religion of my ancestors, and Christianity, the religion of all the stupid Americans. This is unfair, as all religions are pretty equally stupid.

Yes, even Buddhism. Every time I declare all world religions to be stupid, someone has to try and offer Buddhism as a counter-argument, as if it's so perfect and obvious, it's beyond the pale of rational analysis.

A lot of the basic ideas of Buddhism, the "life is suffering" and "extricate yourself from a materialist existance," sure, that stuff is great. But Buddhism's filled with dumb mystical crap too, like fat guy gold statues everywhere and monks scanning the countryside for the latest incarnation of the all-knowing Buddha. And, like all ludicrous religions, it features silly hats. Always, always, with the silly hats.

Plus, that deep chanting gets really annoying really fast.

But the point of this post was not simply to mock Buddhism. Sure, that was part of the idea, but I'd like to move along to Hinduism now. Specifically, this Yahoo article, about a Bengali writer who has been arrested for defiling the goddess of learning, Saraswati.

A police complaint was lodged in the city against Bengali novelist Sunil Gangopadhayay by retired additional director general of Research and Analysis Wing (RAW) Bibhutibhusan Nandy.

Nandy has accused the writer of hurting religious sentiments by what he termed as obscene comments on the goddess in an autobiographical account, excerpts of which were carried by a Bengali daily.

Specifically, this novelist indicated that he won a literary award as a gift from Saraswati, in exchange for his physical desire for her. Also, he admitted in an autobiographical article to, ahem, pleasuring himself while fondling a clay statue of the goddess.

So, clearly, this guy has got some issues going on. Have you seen these Hindu goddesses? I mean, sure, some of them are kind of cute, when they don't have eight arms and aren't blue. But this is taking it a bit far.

It also makes me wonder if there are Christians out there anywhere with Virgin Mary fetishes? Surely there's got to be some Madonna porn out there somewhere. (No, not pop star Madonna...we all know there's pop star Madonna porn out there...)

The First Information Report (FIR) was filed under sections 295 and 295A of the Indian Penal Code (IPC) pertaining to defilement of sacred objects and insulting religious beliefs.

While police confirmed the news, Sunil Gangopadhayay said he was not aware of the legal proceedings.

"A report published in Bengali daily Ananda Bazar Patrika on March 28 quoted the writer saying that he was aroused by an idol of the goddess and had fondled the clay image for gratification. This is not only depravity and perversion of the person but also amounts to desecration of the goddess of learning," Nandy told IANS.

It's kind of comforting to hear that there's another country filled with loopy religious nuts out there. I sometimes feel so alone in the universe. But this is pretty wacky stuff...It's against the law in India to insult religious beliefs? Can you imagine? In Madras, this blog would be like the Unabomber Manifesto. I'd be the John Dillinger of Dehli.

What a silly law. You're not legally allowed to find an imaginary character...oh, I mean, a "goddess"...attractive? I mean, I agree, it's kind of weird and inappropriate, like falling in love with Bilbo Baggins or Wonder Woman. I'm recalling that scene in the documentary Crumb where R. Crumb admits to, in his formative years, finding Bugs Bunny sexually attractive. In America, that just makes you an oddity; in India, it makes you a felon.