God, Jesus, Tony

Okay, this is kind of funny, but it isn't that funny. Because it's about a completely insane guy, and mental illness on this level is always more sad than funny.

But it's still kind of funny.

A New Zealand man is on trial for murder and attempted murder after attacking two women on the street with a samurai sword. He says that he constantly has heard God talking to him, telling him that he's third in line for the Heavenly crown:

Murder accused Antonie Dixon said he regularly heard God's voice, a psychiatrist called by Dixon's defence told the High Court in Auckland today. "I thought I was the third one down -- God, Jesus, Tony," Dixon had said, Dr Karl Jansen told the court. Dixon had first heard God's voice when he was nine and God had told him what the satellites were up to. He heard God's voice once a week.

I'm perplexed in a way here. Because this happened in New Zealand, and yet it's extremely similar to an incident that happened right near my parent's home in Irvine, California not long ago. A disgruntled supermarket employee showed up at his old place of business with a sword, killing two people and wounding three others.

What gives with the choice of weapon? Rather than arguing about those "Grand Theft Auto" video games and Matrix movies, should we be banning Akira Kurosawa flicks instead? Is Errol Flynn an inspirational figure to a new generation of psychopaths?

Also, while we're on the subject of odd insanity trends, the satellite thing. Crazy people seem to be completely obsessed with satellites. Why? What's the attraction? Wouldn't you think that completely insane people, schizophrenics with bizarre hallucinations, would always come up with different stuff to be worried about? Like, one would fear satellites implanting messages into his brain, but another one would fear that his brain had been replaced by styrofoam peanuts by the World Wildlife Fund in an attempt to silence his revolutionary views about the amazing physical properties of giraffe dung.

You see what I'm saying here? It should be different, is all. I want to hear about the many colors of the whack-job rainbow, not the same BS "satellites are spying on me" nonsense. The Conversation was 30 years ago, fellas. Get some new material!

Oh, and as always, my thanks to FARK, that repository of weird links, for the article. The first one! The second one I found all by myself!