Bacon Bacon Bacon, I'm Making the Moves on You!

If you can identify where that quote comes from, you're a huge dork. I mean, massive. Okay, I'll give you a hint.

Anyway, that's not the point of this post. The point is that there's a very funny site you should check out called Bacon Whores.

What they do is, see, they send pseudo-Hooters Girls over to your house by reservation and cook you bacon. That's it. It's not a horrible idea for a service. They don't offer any pricing information on the site, but if the entire service costs less than $20, I can see a lot of lazy college students making late-night calls for bacon delivery.

When I was in college, there was a service called kozmo.com. Don't bother checking it out, because it no longer exists. But they were sort of the online Pink Dot, delivering anything you could find in a convenience store to your apartment within an hour or so after you simply placed an order on the Internet. They'd even bring you rental movies! Amazing.

Kozmo went out of business almost immediately. Because, let's face it, that's a shitty business plan. They'd come over to our apartment and deliver, like, two Cokes for $3. How are you supposed to turn a massive profit from sending out a delivery guy to bring Cokes to stoners for next to no money? You're not.

But these Bacon Whore people might be on to something, although I'm not certain if this is a real service. Obviously, I checked if I could get some bacon in my area, and it gives me this message:

Your zip code 90034 is covered by our Los Angeles office. Due to overwhelming demand, there are currently no BaconWhores appointments available in the next two weeks. Check back soon for updated availability!

Now, if this is genuinely an upstart company trying to win over new clients, delaying service by two weeks won't really fly.

But it's certainly an amusing enough website. And they've got the marketing angle down. They even have (possibly photoshopped) pictures of celebrities wearing Bacon Whores gear. For example, here's American Beauty and "Six Feet Under" star Mena Suvari:



She's cute anyway, but with a picture of bacon on her shirt, she's downright irresistable.

So, my thanks to Cory for sending me this wonderful link. How else would I have ever learned vital information about bacon like the following:

Bacon starts its life inside a piglet-shaped cocoon, in which it receives all the nutrients it needs to grow healthy and tasty.

You learn something new every day!