Rejection...

So, I applied for a job as a "digital correspondant" with this new cable TV station that's starting up next year. They were gonna send young people out with digital cameras to make documentary/experimental film pieces for the network.

Anyway, I got in for an interview, and they're doing group interviews, which you just know is bogus, and one of the people in my group is this model. And, I mean, it's Los Angeles, you can't drive from your botox clinic to your pilates class without nearly colliding with the Escalades of at least four models, but this was a particularly hot model. She told me she'd even been a model in Japan, which according to last week's America's Next Top Model, is, like, totally one of the world's centers for hot new clothes. So, of course, the two male interviewers paid an extreme amount of attention to my short, stumpy male ass.

But I don't want to sound bitter. I am bitter, I just don't want to sound this way.

I figured I didn't get the job, and I didn't, but today I got this e-mail from the company (whose name I will leave out, because I want to be able to call their executives foul names with no fear of reprisal):

We are so impressed with the hard work, passion, and creative talent demonstrated by the 2000 Digital Correspondent applicants who have reached out to us. Thank you for being one of the pioneering participants in our effort to transform television. This recruiting process has been
instrumental in the shaping of our programming vision.

After a review of your application, we regret that we are unable to offer you a position as a full-time Digital Correspondent. But, we want you to stay involved. And we have a new framework for supporting your involvement.

While we can't possibly hire all of you in staff positions, the size and talent of our applicant pool has inspired us to do something bolder and with more impact. We are going to open our doors wide and invite all of our Digital Correspondent applicants, and anyone else who shares our aspirations and our values, to participate as a freelance producer who can submit content on-line and be rewarded for contributions that are broadcast on our television network.

Are these guys douche-bags or what? First, they don't hire me for the job, then they want me to keep coming up wtih stuff to send them anyway? Oh, I get it...I can stay up nights coming up with brilliant ideas for TV shows, e-mail them to you, and then I can be participating as a "freelance producer"! For no money! It all makes sense now!

But the letter continues!:

We know that waiting to hear from us has been frustrating. We apologize for our delay in communication. We were taking extra time and care as we crafted an expanded vision of our production model, and we are confident that the resulting open contribution platform will ultimately drive a stronger TV network and enable more participation.

"Hey, everyone, sorry it took so long for us to get back to you, but we were busy coming up with this dumbass form letter about how we want you to work for us for nothing! I would have let you know you didn't get the job sooner, but then I wouldn't have had time to come up with a clever plan to screw you out of your best ideas!"

Seriously, guys, you're not reading this, but if you were, I would tell you that you only get to use people's good ideas if you hire them and give them a chance. If you give them the shaft, that makes them angry, and then they don't want to give you their good ideas. They want, instead, to keep those ideas to themselves, and then to get out their frustration with your idiocy by posting a rant on their new blog.