Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Liberals hate Jesus...and The Declaration of Independence...and YOU

We all know the big FOX News lie, right? The one that tells the wacko religious nuts in the middle of the country that we elitist, latte-sipping coastal liberals want to stop them from loving Jesus. And we all know it's crap, right? Okay, good. Glad I have such a smart blog audience.

But, anyway, check out the latest lie Billy O, Rush, Sean "Helmet Hair of Doom" Hannity and their right-wing cabal are spreading around the country:

DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE BANNED AT CALIF. SCHOOL

Follow that link and read a Reuters story about how a wacko Christian teacher was trying to hand out Christian propaganda to his students. Among the propaganda, he slipped in some actual, important historical documents, so that when the district stopped him, he could pretend to be an educator. He's now being defended by the Alliance Defense Fund, whose website today just wants to let us know that "it's okay to say Merry Christmas." Awwww, isn't that nice?

Anyway, folks, this is how it works, as I'm sure you already know (remember that opening paragraph?):

Some stupid story comes out with an inarticulate headline, such as "Declaration of Independence Banned at Calif. School," which what the story really means is "Religious asshole justifiably fired and humiliated." Simple enough mistake.

But then, the Rush Limbaugh assholes get a hold of this stuff, and contort it and twist it around on the radio and in the newspapers, until it isn't a story about some guy who wanted to tell kids about Jesus and the school district who stopped him, but a story about how all good, hard-working Americans love Jesus, and how all the evil Jew rich fatcat corporate hackey-sack-playing pothead burnout pseudo-intellectual Eurotrash immigrants who live in the big cities hate Jesus.

And then, when it's time to vote, Americans think, "Well, a lot of what John Kerry argued made sense, and I am really poor and sick of sending my neighbor's kids out to die in a war in the Midle East, but I can't let those evil Jew rich fatcat corporate hackey-sack-playing pothead burnout pseudo-intellectual Eurotrash immigrants who live in the big cities win an election! They hate Jesus, don't you know? They wanted to stop using the Declaration of Independence because it has the word God in it! Go Bush!"

So, if you hear anyone you know repeat this stupid lie, please, correct them. It sounds like a small, dumb kind of thing that no one would believe, but so does "Bush/Cheney '04," and plenty of people went for that one...

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