Dear American Public -
Please excuse my son, John McCain, from the presidential campaign this week, including the scheduled debate against Barack Obama on Friday. John is not feeling well, and is terribly worried about his good friends the Lehman Brothers, and just will not be able to make it on to the campaign trail.
John knows that there are lots of important things for him to do, and that he is already a bit behind this week. We considered asking his good friend Sarah to bring him all of his assignments, but she's not really up to it herself. (The poor dear.) He promises to try to make it back next week, as long as he feels better, and his doctor says it's okay.
Thank you very much for understanding, and please do feel free to call me if you think this makes John look weak and frightened.
Sincerely,
John McCain's Mom