All by myself...I'm co-hosting...all by myself...
via youtube.com
Don't cry for me, The Internet-gentina. I can make it on my own.
Posted via web from Lon Harris
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Gooble gobble gooble gobble! One of us! One of us! (via @rjbudke)
via youtube.com
Most excellent mash-up of a random collection of classic TV shows and films. Ricardo Autobahn came, he saw, he kicked its ass!
Posted via web from Lon Harris
Friday, October 23, 2009
Alicia Keys, Balloon Boy, Mario proposals, exploding anvils, @andreaball and me on TWIYT 68!
Our YouTube account was unceremoniously pulled this week, so we haven't been able to post the new episode there yet. (It should be back tonight!) But you can see the new episode on Blip, complete with meta-commentary about how it's not on YouTube! Ha ha, ironic self-awareness!
Posted via web from Lon Harris
Thursday, October 22, 2009
A post including the words "conservative" and "horror" that ISN'T about Glenn Beck
Some mouthbreather named John Hawkins has written a thoroughly ridiculous list of the "10 Horror Movies For Conservatives To Watch This Halloween." What makes a horror movie CONSERVATIVE, you might ask? I had no idea, which is what made me intrigued enough to click the link in the first place...Perhaps he's recommending those schlocky movies where a woman's fetus dies or is aborted and then it comes to life and starts exacting revenge on the townsfolk? That, I guess, could be construed as aligned with the modern Republican Party's platform of hating abortions and, you know, women. Or maybe he means those horror movies where the only way to stop the zombiepocalypse is to kick out all the Mexicans? Wait, they haven't made that movie? HOLY SHIT, what are you guys waiting for? That's a horror film concept I would think a lot of American conservatives could get behind. Especially if it was Communist zombies who wanted to gay marry one another.
But no...this list is just 10 horror movies, some of them pretty great, that have...wait for it...ABSOLUTELY NO CONNECTION whatsoever to contemporary American political conservatism. None. Zero. You might as well call this list "10 Horror Movies for Proctologists to Watch This Halloween." It's entirely likely that butt doctors would enjoy most, if not all, of these films, but that doesn't really mean they are anal-illness-centric in any significant way. Let's go through selections from the list...CLOVERFIELD: Hawkins implies that this is conservative because it features the US military doing stuff:"Meanwhile, the military was in the thick of the action, bravely fighting against the Cloverfield monster and handling an impossible situation the best way they could." True, the movie makes no specific critiques of the military's handling of the whole "monster devouring New York" thing. (Hawkins tends to view any movie that depicts the military or the religious as human beings as "conservative," which strikes me as a touch misleading.) But at the same time, the entire conceit of the film revolves around a secretive government project (nickname: Cloverfield) that is apparently investigating the incident in a shadowy, questionable manner after the fact. So it's not exactly jingoist to the core either. Here's, as best I can deduce, Hawkins' calculation: - Government, as a concept: Liberal- Individual employees of the government, provided they wear uniforms and hurt people as part of their job: ConservativeYou MAY actually be able to make the case that "Cloverfield" is in some ways about the 9/11 terrorist attacks and the feeling of helplessness New Yorkers felt in its wake, which at least would be a somewhat POLITICAL spin on the movie. But then you wouldn't be John Hawkins. THE DEAD ZONEI'm not sure Hawkins is thinking of the right movie. David Cronenberg's film "The Dead Zone," which he seems to be discussing, is about a psychic who comes to realize that the election of a conservative extremist to the White House will bring about worldwide nuclear wear. So he assassinates him. The end. "Fahrenheit 911" is literally more conservative than "The Dead Zone." Michael Moore's documentary didn't openly advocate the murder of a conservative president. In fact, this choice is SO INSANE for a list of movies for conservatives, so completely baffling when considering the film's content, I actually had to look it up online, to make sure I wasn't misremembering the fictional president's agenda and political association: From Wikipedia:"Stillson is elected congressman on election night. He proves so popular during his first term that he is re-elected in a landslide. Shortly following his re-election, he creates a conservative political action committee called the America Now Party. Smith, with the terrible knowledge of Stillson's future deeds, contemplates attacking or assassinating the congressman." Smith, the one who is contemplating attacking or assassinating the conservative congressman? He's the film's HERO.Bear in mind, dear reader, is that this column represents the BEST that author John Hawkins could do. THE EXORCISTWait, is a belief in demonic possession now an official part of the Republican platform, and no one thought to tell me? Does this explain Michelle Bachmann?THE FOGGuh? In "The Fog," a town in Northern California is set upon by the bloodthirsty ghosts of sailors, who seek revenge for a 100-year-old shipwreck caused by the town's founders. Hawkins offers no argument as to why this film is conservative, and really has very little to say about it except that it has "brilliant timing" (perhaps he means "pacing"?) and that the remake sucked. I suppose one could argue that "brilliant timing" is a conservative trait, were it not for the entire 2008 McCain for President campaign. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm suspending this blog due to the poor US economy... ...Ha ha! Satire!THE MISTWow, both "The Fog" and "The Mist" made the list! Perhaps this was actually a list of "10 Horror Movies for Meteorologists to Watch This Halloween" and John's just pasted a new title and byline on top. I wouldn't have even thought this possible, but John has chosen a SECOND FILM in which the VILLAIN is conservative to put on his list of conservative films. Mrs. Carmody (ably if a bit overzealously played in the film by Marcia Gay Hardin) believes that mankind's sin has angered God, that he has grown angry and sent an apocalyptic plague to Earth as punishment. SOUND FAMILIAR? RE-ANIMATORBecause if there's one thing that conservatives love to celebrate, it's elaborate works of dystopian mysticism conceived by and starring atheists! According to Hawkins:"Somewhere in there is also a message about the perils of playing God with human life." Yeah, I guess that's in there somewhere...Wait, I forget, is that before or after the part where the zombie rapes that co-ed?THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBSYeah, right now you're probably thinking, "This film about serial killers and the profilers who hunt them has nothing to do with conservatism, and actually has a strongly pro-feminist message that probably would turn off a lot of older, more traditional Republicans who continue to deny that women face unfair advantages in the workplace." But that's probably because you didn't know that it's based on the life of William Ayers! Yeah, what do you think of Hawkins now? Pretty insightful, huh? Oh, wait, Buffalo Bill isn't supposed to be Bill Ayers? He's based on an amalgamation of other real serial killers like Ted Bundy and Ed Gein?...Oh. Then, yeah, this dickbag is just a dickbag. Never mind.
Goats Inspired by Goats is inspired
via mahalo.com
There's something about finding a meme WAY TOO LATE and then latching on to it that's just charming. It's like how Chinese food is sometimes more delicious when it's spent a few days getting cool in the fridge than it was fresh. The best ridiculous YouTube in-jokes only get better with age.
Posted via web from Lon Harris
Friday, October 16, 2009
Brutal Legend Walkthrough
We're hard at work here at Mahalo on the Brutal Legend Walkthrough page. The game seems pretty fun - Jack Black voices a roadie who winds up in a hellscape known as "Heavy Metal." Apparently the game combines action, racing and Real-Time Strategy but all the clips I've seen look essentially like an action game, albeit one with a relatively open world to explore.
It's rare to find a really enjoyable, playable game with a big sense of humor. (That first "Sam and Max" game was kind of fun, I suppose, and there's always the "Monkey Island" series.) Usually, in-game "comedy" is done "Duke Nukem"-style. Little repeated one-liners that play whenever you do a certain move or something. Weak. Anyway, Mitchell is working on the walkthrough right now, as he plays through the game, and we've got lots of videos on there as well. It's a great intro to the game if you're considering picking it up.Louisiana Justice of the Peace: "I'm not racist...As evidence, consider that I let black people use my bathroom."
A Louisiana justice of the peace said he refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple out of concern for any children the couple might have. Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, says it is his experience that most interracial marriages do not last long.
"I'm not a racist. I just don't believe in mixing the races that way," Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. "I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else."
via news.yahoo.com
American South, you've done it again!
Posted via web from Lon Harris
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Quite the Conundrum #mahalo
Conundrum Wines make a very tasty product - I bought one of their 2007 white wines from Los Feliz's epic Cap n' Cork Market - and they have paired it with an unusual marketing strategy. Rather than focus their advertising on the wine itself, they're challenging potential customers to think about "conundrums" they face in their own lives. The best way, the ads seem to imply, to answer some of life's most confusing situations...might be while enjoying a glass of delicious Conundrum wine?
At least that's my take on it. No matter their underlying strategy, they have entrusted Mahalo with creating this "spinoff" Q&A site for them, called ConundrumLand.http://www.whatsyourconundrum.com/ The thing that's interesting about the ConundrumLand/Mahalo Answers team-up, to me, is that the two sites can really work in concert, rather than as competitors. ConundrumLand tends to focus on in-depth discussions, especially about topics like etiquette, relationships, work...personal sorts of conversations, like you'd have with your close friends, that tend to reflect the user's life experiences and backgrounds. This is in pretty direct opposition to Mahalo Answers, which occasionally encourages users to share personal information but more often focuses on facts, data and actual research-able information. If this little experiment works well, we'll have lots more of these kinds of sites focused on a variety of different brands and sponsors. So if you're at all curious about knowledge exchange communities, or if you just have a few conundrums of your own you'd like answers for, I'd encourage you to check it out!Friday, October 02, 2009
For the 8 of you who didn't already realize Glenn Beck is a preening, ridiculous phony
Here's a video of Beck liberally applying Vicks Vaporub to his face in order to present the illusion of crying. Cause he's SO WORRIED about his country...but not enough to conjure up any real emotion.
If there's one thing on the planet more pathetic than a TV personality crying on camera for no good reason...it's that TV personality PRETENDING to cry on camera for no good reason.
This is the first time I've actually come close to feeling badly for Beck. He'll have to live with the existence of this footage for the rest of his life. No amount of money could possibly be worth that.
Posted via web from Lon Harris
Sunday, September 27, 2009
YOUTUBE GOLD: Serious-minded individual calls for Obama's impeachment over flavored dip ban
via youtube.com
How has this been on YouTube for a week without my knowledge? The guy's argument boils down to a few points:
(1) Obama wants to ban flavored dips
(2) Flavored dips are good
(3) Therefore, Obama is gay
But that's not all. He proceeds to
- compare Obama to a monkey, before postulating what might happen if a person gave a monkey a flavored dip.
- defend his right to say racial slurs, on the basis that he's not a Nazi
- argue in favor of legal prostitution
- state that Obama is not an American, but IS a Jew (!)
- salute the Confederate flag because, and I quote, "I'm a true fucking American."
Okay, sure, not all his arguments are all that compelling, but delivering them while pausing frequently to spit in a small plastic container? That is one dynamite rhetorical technique. I'm pretty sure William Jennings Bryant did the same during his most celebrated oratories.
Posted via web from Lon Harris
Saturday, September 12, 2009
The Teabaggers' ideas intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to their newsletter
Hang on, there's something wrong with my calculator. I'm adding Lenin to Stalin, then dividing that by Hitler added to Castro, but it keeps coming out as comedian Louie Anderson, not Obama...That can't be right...
So, wait, until today, Glenn Beck's gloves had been on?
via sadlyno.com
This is clearly one of the most ludicrous propaganda videos I've ever seen on YouTube. To dissect its silliness thoroughly would take 20 blog posts.
But my favorite part was this:
"The battle started at the Alamo comes to Washington DC"
So Glenn Beck went to Washington to ask for Texas' independence from Mexico? He needn't have bothered.
You know what, maybe I'm wrong...Maybe he's referring to the theft of Pee Wee Herman's bike, which as we all know, was thought to be hidden in the Alamo's basement. Obama really ought to give it back. Frances had no right to take it.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Tila Tequila, Mad Men, Lisa Nova, Ginger Kids, guest host @markjeffrey, me and more on TWIYT #62!
via youtube.com
Shira's in New York for the VMA's...
But fear not! My guest co-host this week is Bibliotech creator, author and Mahalo CTO Mark Jeffrey. Next week, we've got a very special show planned with some other guests, and then look for the return of Shira later this month!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Between Two Ferns with Charlize Theron and her sick dog
Another brilliant episode from Zach Galifianakis. Brought to you by "Need for Speed: Shift."
Friday, September 04, 2009
Kid, Play, GaGa, a kid who loves bacon, mechanical bulls, @shiralazar and me in in TWIYT #61!
via youtube.com
This episode features probably the single meanest segment aimed at an individual YouTuber we've ever done. I mean, Jake Walmsley is definitely crying out for some negative attention, but still...I may have gone too far. Even Maria Sansone doesn't usually have to deal with this much of my wrath.
Thursday, September 03, 2009
How will Auto-Tune the News ever top this episode?
via youtube.com
Gonna be tough...I mean, the Federal Commission of T-Pain signed off on this one. PLUS you get the return of Katie Couric. But these just keep getting better, so I'll have to hold out hope.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Scientific American asks: "Depression: Sort of Awesome?"
So what could be so useful about depression? Depressed people often think intensely about their problems. These thoughts are called ruminations; they are persistent and depressed people have difficulty thinking about anything else. Numerous studies have also shown that this thinking style is often highly analytical. They dwell on a complex problem, breaking it down into smaller components, which are considered one at a time.
Basically, the idea is that sad bastards sit and home and think about their lives over and over again, and that this in turn causes their brain to function in a more intensely focused, analytical manner, which in turn makes them smarter, or at least better at critical thinking and problem solving.
These people who wrote the article are scientists, whereas I host a weekly web show in which I make sarcastic remarks about cat videos and Shane Dawson, so you decide who to trust...but I'm not sure I buy this idea. It implies that the thinking you do when you're depressed is, in some ways, analytical, and even productive. And it's not. Repetition alone doesn't count as critical thinking...and that's all depression is...the repetition in the mind of negative, hateful thoughts without an "off" switch.
It's not like depressed people are really looking at their lives analytically and breaking the shit down in an organized, strategic manner. "Well, let's see, on this side, I hate my father, but I love gelato! And I'm not happy at my job, but puppies! And I'm uncertain as to whether I'll ever find true love, and deep down, I suspect that it's all meaningless and I could die at any moment and no one would ever care...but, hey, that new Final Destination movie's coming out soon!"
I don't think there's anything productive about being depressed, and the idea that it might make you better at math strikes me as counter-intuitive. Sure, you're focused when you're depressed, but only on one thing - feeling depressed.
Heidi Montag, The Percolator, enraged hoe lady, too many Marios, @shiralazar and me on TWIYT 60!
via youtube.com
60 episodes and we're not totally out of ideas yet...I'm stunned.
And for all those asking in the YouTube comments, the Percolator Girl seems fine at the end of the video. I think there's a chance that clip might actually be less funny if she had expired. (I'd probably still want to show it, though, cause it's awesome.)
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)