On TWIYT #47, @leahdemilio's back! Plus Hayden Panettiere, LisaNova, Mr. T and me as a manwhore
via youtube.com
Now that's a packed line-up. Stay tuned for the Easter Egg at the end. We've really been on an Easter Egg roll (hey-o!) as of late.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Hey Ladies! Want to win a conjugal visit with Drew Peterson? Oh, you have no interest in that? Never mind.
via foxnews.com
Has Drew considered that he may want to come off a bit less diabolically creepy if he ever wants to not live in a cell again? You're awaiting trial for MURDER, dude...MUR-DER. At least OJ waited until he got off on the murder charge before writing a book about how funny it would've been if he were guilty.
Herzog remaking "Bad Lieutenant" with Nicolas Cage. Wait, WHAT? (NSFW Trailer!)
via popwatch.ew.com
Is this just completely ludicrous, or some kind of mad stroke of genius? I'm not sure. But I will definitely be seeing it ASAP.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
RIP Jay Bennett
via youtube.com
Was really bummed to hear about the loss of Jay Bennett, formerly of Wilco, this morning. Bennett was with the band during their creative peak, particularly "Summerteeth" and "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot," and I've never really been as into the work since his departure.
This is a clip from the documentary "I Am Trying to Break Your Heart," which unfortunately led Bennett to file a lawsuit against former bandmate Jeff Tweedy earlier this month. It gives a good insight into the band's creative process, as well as showcasing Bennett's intuitive sense for musical production and arrangement. The guy was a big talent.
Jay Bennett
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Terminator: Salvation Review
McG's attempt to jump-start the "Terminator" franchise is just ridiculously inept and just all-around terrible...one of those movies that just screams "turkey" from the opening shot onwards. Seriously, it's hard to believe, based on this film, that the guy had ever made any large-scale Hollywood film before in his life, even one as pedestrian as "Charlie's Angels."
The story is completely incoherent, both taken on it's own and considered alongside other "Terminator" films. After a brief prologue set in a prison in 2003, we open in 2018. Skynet has control of the world's machines, and is waging a bloody war against the remaining pockets of human resistance, one of them led by John Connor. Connor, over the course of the film, encounters a special and very strange Skynet project named Marcus (Sam Worthington), a machine that nevertheless believes he is a human. Their meeting will drive most of the film's action, as well as its utterly predictable and ludicrous final twist.
Machines have spent 3 films going back in time to kill Connor before he can become a member of the resistance, and now that he is one...he seems to have no real leadership qualities and no idea what's going on. Not sure what they were so afraid of. Connor's team includes his wife, Kate (Bryce Dallas Howard), some guy named Barnes (rapper Common) and a female character played by an actress named Moon Bloodgood, who really doesn't have much screen time to make any kind of impression, and none of them seem to have any kind of genuine ability to FIGHT BACK against a global network of killing machines that can mass produce themselves. Late in the film, the united team of John Connor and Marcus have significant trouble killing a single Terminator. Why would Skynet fear these two? They could just roll over them! We've already seen a TRILOGY of films in which John Connor MUST be saved so he can become the future's greatest badass...Haven't we waited long enough to see him actually take charge and act like one?
This was, of course, the genius of James Cameron's original concept for the film "Terminator."...A film in which a few people fight back against a worldwide army of death-bots would be hard to engineer believably, particularly using the special effects of the mid 1980s...So Cameron set his film IN OUR OWN TIME with the complexities of the future war left to the viewer's own fertile imagination. It works beautifully.
Now that the future war is actually upon us, it's pretty clear no one working on the series has any idea how to conceptualize it and make it feel compelling and visceral. (Also, someone really ought to tell them that you're still fucked if you're standing very close to a nuclear explosion, even if you're not in the actual building where it has happened. John Connor stands less than a mile away from mushroom clouds like 3 times during this film, and Bale barely even registers a reaction...Isn't it at least uncomfortably warm? Couldn't you at least have him hide in a fridge or something?)
Overall, Bale is excruciatingly poor, delivering (mostly just shouting) generic "action movie" dialog in his Batman voice. More than a few line deliveries received big laughs. It feels like he sort of mentally checked out at some point, and just decided to play a vague action movie cliche rather than a character. Worthington, perhaps realizing that he's portraying one of the least likable Hollywood protagonists in recent memory, barely registers at all. It's just as well...What could you possibly do with this part? He's a death row inmate who is executed in 2003 and wakes up in post-apocalyptic Los Angeles with no idea what's going on. He's never even given a scene in which he can act "surprised" at what's happened to him. Anton Yelchin's Reece is probably the highlight, though he's saddled with the bulk of the film's exposition ("Hey, you're in Los Angeles in 2018! There's a war between humans and machines! Look out, it's a [INSERT GENERIC TERMINATOR-SOUNDING ROBOT NAME HERE]!" Plus he's trailed by a plucky mute kid the whole film. (A nod to Cameron's "Aliens"? A lame pointless plot device? Who knows?)
Machines have spent 3 films going back in time to kill Connor before he can become a member of the resistance, and now that he is one...he seems to have no real leadership qualities and no idea what's going on. Not sure what they were so afraid of. Connor's team includes his wife, Kate (Bryce Dallas Howard), some guy named Barnes (rapper Common) and a female character played by an actress named Moon Bloodgood, who really doesn't have much screen time to make any kind of impression, and none of them seem to have any kind of genuine ability to FIGHT BACK against a global network of killing machines that can mass produce themselves. Late in the film, the united team of John Connor and Marcus have significant trouble killing a single Terminator. Why would Skynet fear these two? They could just roll over them! We've already seen a TRILOGY of films in which John Connor MUST be saved so he can become the future's greatest badass...Haven't we waited long enough to see him actually take charge and act like one?
This was, of course, the genius of James Cameron's original concept for the film "Terminator."...A film in which a few people fight back against a worldwide army of death-bots would be hard to engineer believably, particularly using the special effects of the mid 1980s...So Cameron set his film IN OUR OWN TIME with the complexities of the future war left to the viewer's own fertile imagination. It works beautifully.
Now that the future war is actually upon us, it's pretty clear no one working on the series has any idea how to conceptualize it and make it feel compelling and visceral. (Also, someone really ought to tell them that you're still fucked if you're standing very close to a nuclear explosion, even if you're not in the actual building where it has happened. John Connor stands less than a mile away from mushroom clouds like 3 times during this film, and Bale barely even registers a reaction...Isn't it at least uncomfortably warm? Couldn't you at least have him hide in a fridge or something?)
Overall, Bale is excruciatingly poor, delivering (mostly just shouting) generic "action movie" dialog in his Batman voice. More than a few line deliveries received big laughs. It feels like he sort of mentally checked out at some point, and just decided to play a vague action movie cliche rather than a character. Worthington, perhaps realizing that he's portraying one of the least likable Hollywood protagonists in recent memory, barely registers at all. It's just as well...What could you possibly do with this part? He's a death row inmate who is executed in 2003 and wakes up in post-apocalyptic Los Angeles with no idea what's going on. He's never even given a scene in which he can act "surprised" at what's happened to him. Anton Yelchin's Reece is probably the highlight, though he's saddled with the bulk of the film's exposition ("Hey, you're in Los Angeles in 2018! There's a war between humans and machines! Look out, it's a [INSERT GENERIC TERMINATOR-SOUNDING ROBOT NAME HERE]!" Plus he's trailed by a plucky mute kid the whole film. (A nod to Cameron's "Aliens"? A lame pointless plot device? Who knows?)
As a director, McG is...how can I put this...lousy. He cannot set up a cool sequence or build suspense to save his life. He apparently doesn't even get what genre this is and unfolds each sequence like a horror film...Lots of really loud, chaotic gunfire, then all goes silent, then OMG LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU! A Terminator! And there's so much fake dust swirling around you can barely see anything anyway.
However, I honestly think that, hacktacular direction aside, the writing is the worst part. Whole plot threads are just abandoned without comment. Common and Bryce Dallas Howard are in a significant chunk of the movie but have no roles...literally no development, backstory or personality. The series' trademark humor is non-existent. We build to a climax that's pointless and that we're even TOLD will be pointless.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Paris Hilton, Asher Roth, @shiralazar and, of course, Keyboard Cat, all on today's #TWIYT
via youtube.com
I've never even heard of this "Asher Roth" guy but WOW...what a douchebag.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Adventures of the Bruce Willis-Bot in the Year 3000!
Kind of an interesting premise, although it invites comparisons to a LOT of other recent movies about androids.
Zach Braff to write, direct and star in "Swingles"...and ruin my life
Zack Braff has absolute power in the land of the “Swingles.” According to Variety, Braff will direct the romantic comedy, which will be his first feature since 2004’s “Garden State.” The project already boasts leading lady Cameron Diaz, but Braff isn’t content with merely directing her. He will also be co-starring and rewriting the film.
“Swingles” centers on a bachelor who is dumped by his wingman. Having studied his “Top Gun,” the bachelor knows that he can’t fly solo, and he decides that his next pickup companion will be a wingwoman. Sounds like a plan, right? Not so fast. The new winglady is a “sharp-tongued” sort, and our bachelor can’t stand her. Of course we all know where this is probably going: loathing turns into love and things wrap up with a little “happily ever after.”
For the love of all things holy...Words fail. The thought of a movie in which Zach Braff studies "Top Gun" for romantic advice and tests its lessons in the field alongside Cameron Diaz reminds me of every nightmare I've ever had, times 500. I would rather direct myself in a snuff film.
One of the 20 films coming out soon with "9" in the title looks cool (via @sweetums)
via cartoonbrew.com
Animated movies are just getting more and more dystopian all the time. First, "WALL-E" was set on a future Earth covered in trash, now "9" is set on a future Earth covered in trash and monsters? By 2011, CG animated films will just be set in a pit filled with feces and jagged shards of glass. "The Legend of Shitglass: Chapter the First."
9 Movie
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Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Whoopi Goldberg Calls Glenn Beck A 'Lying Sack Of Dog Mess'
Not typically a fan of the political commentary on "The View," which tends towards discussions about whether or not the world is flat, but Barbara Walters and Whoopi Goldberg's harassment of Glenn Beck is pretty glorious.
She also gets him to deny being a reporter and admit that he does not check facts. Sweet.
Bionic Commando Walkthrough
A lot of new walkthroughs going up at Mahalo this week...We've got a writer started on this new game, "Bionic Commando," which was originally an arcade game from '87 that was turned into an NES game in '88 This new game is a direct sequel to the classic game, and the first full BC game for any next-generation system. (There was an enhanced remake of the NES game available on Xbox Live Arcade). I'm not really familiar with the originals...
Haven't had a chance to play it yet, though I've heard the controls are kind of sluggish. The graphics look pretty cool though, and I'm curious to see what that arm cannon thing does...
You can check out the full walkthrough here on Mahalo:
http://www.mahalo.com/Bionic_Commando_Walkthrough
We're also working on "Velvet Assassin" and "Terminator: Salvation" at the moment. More to come on those...
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Bad Quizno's! That's a bad Quiznos!
via gawker.com
2 Girls, 1 Sub? Are they kidding? Quizno's is now purposefully associating their brand with eating poo?
http://gawker.com/5261151/quiznos-taste-the-poop
You know Don Draper would not stand for this kind of thing.
Monday, May 18, 2009
My god, you mean to say that, should the worst happen, the VP will be at HIS OWN HOUSE??!?
Dick Cheney is getting a nuclear bunker. Or a spy tunnel. Or a helicopter landing pad. Or maybe nothing at all.Rumours are rife in Washington about the nature of building work being carried out at the Naval Observatory, which includes the official residence of the vice-president of the United States.
But though regular blasts and construction traffic show that something is going on at 1 Observatory Circle, no-one will say what it is.
via news.bbc.co.uk
Yeah, I'm not saying that Joe Biden isn't prone to making stupid absent-minded gaffes. He does it all the time. In fact, Joe Biden says hilariously silly things so often, you don't need to invent them when they don't really happen.
Everyone has known since 2002 that Dick Cheney had a bunker built under his house. Because Dick Cheney was a paranoid motherfucker, and he was making a huge crazy racket under his house in 2002 when the thing was built. This is an article from the BBC back then...The first sentence of the lede is "Dick Cheney is getting a nuclear bunker."
Getting angry at Joe Biden for revealing this is like getting upset at Leonard Maltin for revealing that "Shakespeare in Love" beats "Saving Private Ryan" for Best Picture. That shit already happened...
Sherlock Holmes Trailer (via @sketch678)
Not bad...Sort of Sherlock Holmes as a superhero...Downey Jr looks fun.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
The Story of Grizz and Dot Com (via @sweetums)
via nbc.com
Tina Fey says Grizz and Dot Com are real friends of Tracy Morgan...And those are their real nicknames? Amazing...So amazing, in fact, I'm not sure I believe her.
The Unknown Unknowns of Donald Rumsfeld
via men.style.com
Today's must-read is Robert Draper's article for GQ on the fall and even further fall of former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. It's almost too surreal to believe. As Smithers once said, Rumsfeld went moved from ordinary villainy to cartoonish "super-villainy."
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